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Front Desk Drama

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For Realsies? [03 Aug 2009|11:03am]

There's one guy in the office I work at, and he is constantly badgering me to help him.
He's about 65, I'm 19, I've had to spell check all of his work and he can't spell the simplest of words like "Scene" or "Gurney" then today he wanted me to send his fax because he doesn't know how to use the goddamn machine....what I want to know is how is he capable of handling heavy machinery but not office machinery?
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Oh holy jebus [13 Feb 2009|10:15am]
I am so sick, SICK I TELL YA, of mean discourteous people! When you call a business and get the opening greeting spiel, it is impolite to interrupt the receptionist. Seriously I know you are busy and all but somehow I care less about that when you interrupt me. Talking over me will not get me to stop talking as I will pretend that I did not hear you and continue with my greeting. I can lose my job for not doling out said greeting to each and every caller, regardless of whether or not you just called in or not.

Now when I am done with my spiel, and you have been talking through it the whole time, and I say hello? do not get mad at me because I have no idea that you wanted service or parts. I COULD NOT HEAR YOU AS YOUR RUDE BUTT WAS TALKING OVER EVERYTHING I SAID. I have a job to do, part of it is to regurgitate the same spiel hundreds of times a day. Do I come to your office and interrupt you everytime you try to do a function of your job.

seriously people.
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Suckage [06 Aug 2008|12:33am]
This guy was annoying. Maybe I should be nicer because of the language barrier and all but seriously are you freakin kidding?!

Me: Good morning thank you for calling Blargity Blarg Auto How may I direct your call?
Stupid head: Yes ees deelersheep open?
Me: Yes sir the sales floor only is here until 4pm.
Stupid head: So I can't come see car?
Me: Yes sir you can we are here until 4pm today.
Stupid head: No the DEEEEELERSHEEP! Ees eet open?
Me: Yes sir the dealership is open and the sales staff is here until 4pm.
Stupid head: You not know what deelersheep ees?
Me: Yes sir I work for a dealership, we have different departments, the sales department is the only department open today, and we will be here until 4pm.
Stupid head: Yeah the deelersheep ees what I said. Stupeed ....

At that point he just trailed off in what I assume to be obscenities and other such crap. I swear sometimes I want to reach through the phone and throttle people...
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What do do when on Spring Break... [28 Mar 2008|09:04am]

[ mood | amused ]

Call your local non-profit and leave stupid messages on my voicemail!

This was priceless and I just had to share. I'm the receptionist at a non-profit. Most of the time, my job (the phone end, anyway) is pretty smooth. Normally I get people who know who they want to talk to. Occasionally I get "odd people." This situation went beyond odd...hilarity was more like it.

I had to leave my desk to ask a question, so I turned the phone over to our voicemail system. I was gone no more than five minutes and when I got back, I had a message. When I listened to it, I couldn't understand a word the person was saying, so I sort of ignored it. Then a co-worker came to my desk to ask me something and I asked her to listen to it. As soon as she listened, she busted up laughing. When she handed back to phone, she said, "Did you listen to that?" I said, "I couldn't understand them." She said, "Listen again."

I did, turned on speaker phone and turned up the volume. This was the message...

"Dude, you're answering machine is so long. Just want my weed back, dude. What the hell. Give me my weed back. You know where to call. I'm gonna get some prostitutes tonight, so it's gonna be hot. Bye."

By the end, we were both doubled over laughing.

In the background you could hear someone yelling and someone else saying, "Shut up, mom!" So, I'm guessing crank call. I've gotten maybe 2 of those in the almost three years I've been here. My question is, who would crank call a non-profit. And further, who would wait while the entire, what we call, "night message" played and then listen to my "front desk message" just to leave a crank message.

Do kids not have enough to do?

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No dice douchebag, I’ll tell you what my job is [26 Mar 2008|04:33pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]


I work at a real estate office, very often we get calls from solicitors that just want to get by the secretary and bother the realtors. Obviously they are used to saying things to get by- but every once n a while they give themselves away, and you can catch them. Also - what helps me to realize you’re a jackass solicitor? That’s right. If you’re a jackass.


Me: “It’s a great day at Blah Realty, how can I help you?”

Douche:  “Hi, can I speak to a realtor?”

(At this point I realize he sounds like he’s in a call center, and his number is coming up as ‘unavailable’)

Me: “Sure thing, are you looking at a specific property? Or looking to sell?”

Douche: “…I just have some general questions.”

Me: “Ok, well so I know who to connect you with, what are you wondering about? The buying aspect? The selling aspect?  Market conditions?”

Douche:” General questions.”

Me: “Ok,  well… regarding what? If it’s a complaint I’ll be happy to connect you with our manager”

Douche: “What is this 20 questions or something?”

Me: “…It can be. Just tell me what you need and I can connect you.”

Douche: “LOOK. Your job is to connect me with a realtor. Is that too complicated? Are you hard of hearing?”

Me: “Actually, part of my job entails screening calls, like most receptionists. But none of my job requires dealing with overly rude people.   (I’m about to hang up ) … douchebag.”


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So here's my question of the day... [31 Jul 2007|10:43am]

[ mood | cranky ]

Why do people from parts unknown continually call the front desk and assume that whoever answers should magically know how they get to your location?

I get about fifteen calls a day, asking from directions varying from downtown Chicago to Madison, Wisconsin (we're in a NW suburb of Chicago, Des Plaines), and the people get so angry when I have to pause and look up (on the internet - which 90% of people could do on their own) directions.

And better still, for the past few months the local expressway exit has been closed, making directions all the more difficult, because the preceding and following exits are extremely far away.

I don't drive. I don't know this area well because I don't live here. These were not prerequisites for the job. So everytime someone calls in for directions - and really VAGUE directions too, 'I'm on Golf Road, how do I get there?... No, I don't know the nearest cross-streets' - they throw a fit because I can't help them.


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well this is turning out to be a shitty ass day so far [27 Jul 2007|10:16am]

[ mood | bitchy ]

Nothing but phone calls from stupid pms-ing women who seriously need to get over themselves.

Because they each are the only customer we have.

At least it's Friday. I guess I'll just get drunk tonight. Really hammered.

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[20 Jul 2007|03:23pm]

[ mood | amused ]

CL= Crazy Lady

Ring Ring Ring

Me: Good morning %($#@ Services, (ME) speaking, how can I help?
CL: Oh good morning, Im calling you see, as I am a local (Suburb of company) resident and I was recently at the shops this morning…

Me: Uh hah (taking a moment to see if this is of concern and curious to see where on earth she is going with this)
CL: and there were some students of yours in the St Margaret’s -(? Cant remember where she said) – the checkered uniforms yes?

Me:(WTF??) Um sorry, but you’ve actually called a business, $*^%$ services not St Margaret’s, sorry. (Prepares to hang up when the inevitable…)
CL: oh well I dialed 97 123456

Me: (sigh) well sorry not even close, we are 97 987654, sorry goodbye
CL: Oh right, (laughs) goodbye

Mutual hanging up
Ring Ring Ring

Me: Good morning %($#@ Services, (ME) speaking, how can I help?
CL: Oh now whats gone on here? Ive dialed the other number and its given me your company?
Me: (because I’m a telecommunications expert of course) Im sorry I don’t know, maybe they have changed their number?

CL: But why did it ring you, when I dialed a different number???
Me (Oh for heavens sake lets all just move on shall we, and ponder the workings of the communications airways another time, perhaps when I don’t have a hundred other lines ringing in right now while you interrogating me!) Im sorry but I cant help you there..
Im about to hang up when she ungratefully hangs up in my ear…well I never, after even giving her the time of day and being polite enough to not be completely unhelpful, even though I don’t have to…HRMPH!

Ring Ring Ring
I hesitate, Awwww I don’t wanna, I think…SIGH…

Me: Good morning %($#@ Services, (ME) speaking, how can I help?
CL: Well this makes no sense to me now…..

Me: (Doing my best smiling between gritted teeth after all my mother brought me up well) Well you’re probably going to have to call 013- directory or something to get the right number.
CL: 013 you say (as she is writing this down)

Me: (Thinking crap, why can I never remember the directory number anymore) Oh no I don’t think is 013 anymore, its 12455 or something I don’t know you’d have to look it up…sorry (preparing to hang up yet again for what I HOPE to be the last time)
CL: Oh well how do I do that?

Me: (AHHHHHH, exasperatedly sarcastic) Oh I don’t know……Yellow pages probably!!!!!!!
CL: Oh hang on…wait (is that fumbling and moving around I hear??) yellow pages, yellow pages (Is she fricken looking for them now????) Yellow pages you say, ah ok here we go (sounds of pages moving) so…..

Me: (in a sort of amused disbelief now!)Um Hello….Im sorry…. Um(Slight giggle internally)..I can’t stay on the phone with you, I have OTHER calls to answer! So ah goodbye!!!!
CL: Oh right yes byebye…(distracted page shuffling)

Me- Head to desk……. Shouts out to no one in particular….

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Another one for the books: [17 Jul 2007|03:45pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

Me= Me
FW= F#$%wit
Me: Good afternoon %$#@^ services , this is “me” how can I help?”
FW: (Booming already impatient and intimidating tone) THIS is Peter Michal of TSA (yeah not editing THAT part!) Is your Managing Director in the office?
Me: (Baffled at intimidation tactic) Ah well I would have to check on that, Can I ask what its regarding please?
FW: (Loud obnoxious sigh) YOUR MAKING THIS VERY HARD. Give me the Managing directors last name so I can put this all in writing to him. Now is he in the office or NOT??”
WTF I’m thinking, I’ve barely said two sentences and who the F*%$ is this guy??? His name? No way not now you won’t get it.
Me: As I said before I would have to check as I don’t know if he is currently at his desk or not. May I please put you on hold Peter Michal?
FW: AH.. I suppose (in this kind of princess huffy voice, really weird) But Can I ask you WHERE YOU ARE GOING??
Me: (thinking ok is this guy psycho, or on drugs or both- and im getting particularly freaked at this stage as he sounds like an emotional abusive ex I had, so flustered I slipped having been just talked to like a rebellious teenager or something) Im going to call through and see if A^%$#@! Is at his desk (Gave a false first name that sounds a lot like his name)
FW: (Clearly having gotten what he wanted thought bullying me replies almost gently) Ah yeah, ok then.
Puts FW on hold-
My heart is pounding with the lack of knowledge of what to do next, my boss could get shitty with me if I send this f*%ker through but alternatively I have been caught out before and a guy who was like a sales call but turned out to have something to do with the company and just an idiot for forgetting everyone’s names, and if I’m wrong this guy will definitely make a bigger deal than the other did. I decide to say he not at his desk and I would take a msg and make him deal with it. When I return the line….Mr FW had hung up.
Guess I was right hey. *rolls eyes*

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[13 Jul 2007|04:04pm]

Ha! I have just discovered this community (actually only just thought about looking for fellow s$%kickers) and i think im going to enjoy it here. Particularly as i don’t enjoy my job. I’m new to the whole reception thing i have worked in so many industries at so many levels and i tell you I’ve been treated pretty low in some of my jobs but it was unexpected in this one. So for as long as im here i may as well make the most of it. Here's one for you:

So I get this call from some guy who’s tone was rude the entire time, that is probably a sales call in the not important way because they asked to speak to the director- clear sign of dodgyness as you know when they don’t have a contact name- and I'm like
“I'm sorry he’s not here, I can take a msg and get him to call you back” hes like
“ no ill just call him on Monday, what’s his name?”
then I'm like- woo woo bells( I always try to be really careful with sales dodges cause my boss hates them and expects me to be a discreet, subtle and still polite investigator in case its genuine- not easy to accomplish!) SO I say
“Well can I ask what it is in regards to so I can work out who to direct you to exactly” he’s like
“It’s a business proposal and you can just give me the directors name” I'm like
“well I would but there is 3 of them so if you give me some info into the type of business I can direct you to the one who mainly looks after that area so that it more efficient for you” He’s like-
“No! you can just give me one of their names!” So I'm like in my head
- well great you idiot, you do realize even if I do that, you’re still going to have to deal with me when you call back and we are going to do this same dance ALL over again and even if I can’t genuinely find a reason to not to transfer you- I have to get your name and company anyway or my boss won’t take the call anyway if he doesn’t know it or he’ll make me go back and find out what it’s in regards to ANYWAY, then even if you do eventually get through, if it’s not legit, he will get rid of you pretty quick anyway!!!
But I say….” A$%## probably the best person at this stage.. so.. ill speak to you Monday then and we can do this all again, goodbye.”
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Well.... [09 Jul 2007|03:02pm]

[ mood | tired ]

... that old man, the manager of the drymounting,large color copy,photographics dept. upstairs here at our repro/retail co. who has been here forever(though I have no idea why or how considering the number of clients/customers that he has pissed off and sent packing,) really, really needs to retire.

Wonder if today's complaint against him will yield that result?
Oh and guess what? The owners were out at a meeting. And guess who had to calm the customer down all by herself? That's right-the girl at the front desk-ME!

***** I'm new here, just stumbled across this community by the other day. I'm really glad I did......grrrr!

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Meh [22 Jun 2007|10:29pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

Hi all! Long time listener, first time caller.
So glad I stumbled upon this community.
Being a receptionist is utter crap. Observe:

Read more...Collapse )

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The son of Aeolus and Enarete I am not. [07 Jun 2007|05:13pm]

Mirrored from My Live Journal posting.  Please tell me what you think and add your own stories.

What is the motivation to keep the files organized when the Attorneys will repeatedly undo what you have done?  I’m not talking about new mess, new letters, documents and emails, but things that have already been organized and tacked down in the file…
 And don’t say job security because: 

1. It's lame “office humor,” you can do better; and

2. The job description said Receptionist, not Sisyphus.
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We do not deliver! [24 Aug 2006|04:50pm]

[ mood | amused ]

I work at a non profit that is more like a circus of different programs all in one office. Because of this, I am in charge of various odds and ends tasks. One being, I take orders for some materials for a local hotline we have for parents. I took this over when one of our interns left several months ago. I ran into no troubles except for not having various items in stock and not getting anymore. I was told when I took over this task that because there is no budget for this, we do not deliver nor do we send the materials. The people MUST pick them up and I always tell them this when they order.

Then this woman calls...Collapse )

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Aaargh! [18 Aug 2006|11:45am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Dear callers,

You have reached a place of business. If your call has NOTHING to do with this business, do NOT get huffy when I can't help you. This is especially true if you are calling as a telemarketer or charity beggar. [Note: I have nothing against charities, but if you don't know who to talk to, you obviously have not called here before, and are thus not looking for repeat donations, but handouts. No sympathy.] Pouting and going 'I guess that's okay' when I offer you someone's voicemail is not appropriate. I could have hung up on you, and did not. Please do not call back, as I will tell you that you have reached a place of business and we do not accept cold calls. I was trying to be nice. Next time, I will not.

No love,


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I said NO [03 Aug 2006|10:43pm]

I don't care what you heard, unless someone in our office tells you the trainee program is open IT IS NOT FUCKING OPEN. Granted I am not particulary busy at the moment but I really don't want to sit here and argue the point with you.  As a matter of fact I am going to remember this conversation. Often I am asked what my first impression is of someone and I am not shy about giving it. So in the evetn it does become open and you do apply this conversation will be reported.

I may be a receptionist, but unless you are nice to me you may not get to talk to anyone else.
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Oy [28 Jul 2006|02:08pm]

Dear sir,

I'm sorry that there is no one here to answer their phones. If, after an HOUR of calling, it occurs to you to press '0' for assistance, please do NOT commence with the patronizing insults when I inform you that indeed, every desk is empty. The company retreat is today, I will do my best to answer questions, but your best bet is voicemail. Please stop being a twit, sighing exaggeratedly, and implying rude things about my cognitive abilities. Don't think I'm pleased to have had to come in, either, mmk? I would have gladly accepted the day off to catch up on the rest of my life, if I could.

No love,

The browbeaten receptionist who has better things to do today than keep apologizing to you for things beyond her control.
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real estate receptionist [19 Jul 2006|02:24pm]

Dear agent who just walked in the office -

Kill yourself. Just stop breathing, seriously.

You have made the SWEETEST person to ever grace this earth CRY because you can't wait an extra 5 minutes for your precious fucking documents.

I refuse to be civil with you as you sit in our lobby. Yes, I'm giving you dirty looks right now, you damn twat. All Kristy said to you was, "We've been busy this morning, I apologize, those papers will be finished in 5 minutes tops."

DO NOT FUCKING SNAP AT HER. You do not deserve to kiss the ground she walks on, you old bitch.
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Don't You Love Caller ID?! [29 Jun 2006|04:57pm]

[ mood | amused ]

The other day I got a call from a woman who had, apparently, used her caller ID as and answering machine. This happens some, but not too much recently. What I do get a lot of is this...

*phone rings*
Me: (company name) how may I help you?
*dial tone* or *click click, dial tone*

That drives me insane.

Anyway, a woman calls the other day and it goes as follows:

Me: Hi!
CIL: Caller ID Lady

Me: (company name) How may I help you?
CIL: This is (name) from (company I've already forgotten) and someone just called me from this number and hung up. How do you track that?
Me: I can't. I don't know who would have called you.
CIL: Well, how could you find out?
Me: I don't know who called you. (We have 26 people in this office and I have no way of tracking OUTGOING calls!)
CIL: Well that's pretty rude! Don't you think?!
Me: Yeah, well, I have no idea who would have done that.
CIL: okbye. (hangs up)

I'm sitting there wanting to laugh. I get at least one hang up call per day if not more than that. I work for a non-profit and we don't have caller ID, but if we could afford to have that service, I'd just love to do nothing more than sit around and call all of those people back who hang up on me ;)

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[24 May 2006|02:27pm]

Got this gem yesterday:

"Good afternoon, X Corp, this is Allison"
(obviously on a cell phone in his car)"What company did I get?"
"X Corporation."
"Oh, sorry, I got the wrong number. Oh, hey, wait, do you happen to know the number for Bay Shore Chevy?"
*blink blink blink* "Uhh, no."
Apparently since my office is also in Bay Shore, I should know the phone number of every other business in the town? Oy, vey.
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